torsdag 17. juni 2010

This blog is no longer in use. For more funsies, go to www.raspberryrevolver.blogspot.com

tirsdag 20. oktober 2009

Why does the onion make me cry?
I am dry inside and am shrinking in
And those tears should trigger the flood that's damned
But they run down my face unchallenging
As if mocking me
As if proving my soul has succeeded in building the wall
And I see your face on the other side of my wall
But my soul doesn't recognize you anymore

lørdag 3. oktober 2009

alt mitt hat mot meg
Falt over på deg hver gang jeg begynte å gråte
jeg klarer ikke mer

klarer ikke all skyldfølelsen
klarer ikke å føle meg som det siste mennesket på jorda lenger
det er så klisjé, jeg finner ingen som forstår meg
Men virkelig, det er visst ingen lenger
For hun som forstod er borte
og han jeg trodde kom til å forstå ble en annen enn den jeg skapte ham som

og alene i paradis er det jeg som snakker med slangen
jeg som spiser eplet
jeg som blir kastet ut i hensynsløshet og klarhet
smerten får meg ikke lenger
men tomheten inne i meg har spist et hull der viljen min en gang var
og hjertet mitt pumper saktere og saktere
jeg kjenner blodet stivne i årene mine mens jeg trekker dype åndedrag og prøver å fortsette å leve
snart en seig masse som blir liggende og dampe motbydelighet
og hjertet mitt er stille og sukker et siste sukk
før det lukker seg og glemmer meg

for det hjertet som husker meg fremdeles, tror jeg ikke finnes lenger
alt jeg har elsket, alt jeg har sendt min kjærlighet mot har forlatt meg
glemt meg i et evig jag mot lykke

alene, alene
for en klisjé
this silence is killing me.
small sounds of life just seem like madness
this feeling of loneliness will never leave me
but you’ve made it stronger today
and that is hurting

hurting, someone is hurting me
and beneath it all i see that you i hated sometimes, but myself i hated every minute of this horrible day and age
i’m losing touch again
drifting into apathy
swerling towards some tired eyes

come back to me
come back to me
or give me someone who can take this pain away
painkillers don’t seem to make it better anymore
they only leave me drifting, and i’m drifting all right by myself
into the grey, here i come
no-one is holding on, so this will be an easy ride

right down into that world which i fear and hate so much
but now there is nothing left to hold me back

cause i see that the only thing my love ever led me to in the end
was hurting

mandag 29. juni 2009

So tired
The demons lightly caressing me
And I keep on falling
I suddenly see no reason to hold on
For the questions have started to arise
And the fear is gripping me
What if those horrid dreams were visions?
What if the silent corpses were screaming a warning at the top of their lungs?
God, that smell of decay is not coming from her silent body but from my rotten soul
Only her laughter can patch my wounds together
But that laughter was shunned hanging there
And buried six feet under.
Filled with emptiness
I watch the hours go by
And hope for darkness
Even though it terrifies me
The hanging bodies haunting my mind
And her eyes opening to me from the coffin
Those lifeless, spiritless vessels of death
Never stops looking at me
Trying to calm my soul down
As she is lapsing into infinate realization
I grasp hold of all I have dear to keep from tumbling in
But it all revolves around me
I get dizzy, but my cry for help will hurt too many ears
So I am silent
And weeping every spare moment
I look into my own mirror reflection
And realize that her pain
Will never grasp me
Will never heal me
Will never disappear
Holding on, holding on
Knowing that soon all strength will have left my knuckles and fingertips
And I realize that I am not falling into her abyss, but my own